Archive for April, 2007


Sunday, April 29th, 2007

Bob’s funeral arrangements are as follows:

Visitation: Wednesday May 2, 2007, 4:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.
Stygar MidRivers Funeral Home
5987 Mid Rivers Mall Drive
St. Charles, MO 63304

Services: Thursday, May 3,2007, 11:30 a.m.
Stygar MidRivers Funeral Home

There will be no cemetery visit since Bob wished to be cremated. In lieu of flowers we are asking that donations be made to pancreatic cancer research at

After the service you are invited to attend a gathering at our house. Directions will be provided at the funeral home.

Thank you for your love and support during this time.


shuffle up and deal. .

Friday, April 27th, 2007

The time has come. Bob lost his fight today. He was with family and friends when he decided to call it a day. Kelly, Ryan, Will, his Mom, my brother Paul, Annette, Gerri and Fr. Tom were here with Bob and I. I would like to think he is looking down on us right now with a cigarette, beer and a deck of cards asking when the tournament begins.

It was so quick that I’m still not sure its real but when I wake in the morning and he’s not there I guess that’s when the reality will set in. Fr. Tom wanted to know about Bob so Ryan printed off all the wonderful comments on his blog. I truly think that his friends and relatives told the story so well. Thank you all so much.

He will be so missed. There is a song in the musical Wicked that says” because I knew you, I have been changed for good. You have left a hand print on my heart” that’s what I feel about Bob right now. Some how, in some way he has changed all of us.

Tomorrow Kelly and I start the process of saying good bye and we will let you know the details of the arrangements.

Love to you all,


Running out of time

Thursday, April 26th, 2007

Once again things are going much too fast. Last Sunday Bob was “helping” Ryan barbeque, Monday he was alert enough to sign all the hospice forms and Tuesday he contributed the the nurse’s questions. Wednesday was horrible. He was hallucinating, seeing things and talking to people that weren’t there and very agitated at times.

Some of his hallucinations made us laugh. He won $12 at poker, he was driving a race car with his nephew Andrew, telling our handyman in Texas how to put up ceiling fans and he was controlling airplanes. As the hospice social worker said (who was here through part of this) at least he is recalling good happy things. One statement he made really scared me. He said his grandparents are missing him. I guess I believe he was talking to them.

Today Bob has not been awake except for about 15 minutes. He is in no pain and is not agitated at all. Kelly and Ryan have been here since yesterday afternoon and reinforcements are coming tonight and tomorrow. Kelly and Ryan will be spending the weekend here. We are most likely down to days now.

I’m afraid that the next time you get a post it will be to say that Bob is playing poker with Hank and Len in the big casino in the sky.

I love all of you,


Hospice and termites. . .

Tuesday, April 24th, 2007

Hospice and termites, who could ask for anything more???

This is my diary of Monday and Tuesday and my
To-Do list for the rest of the week!

Monday a.m.
Hospice intake nurse (Erin) came and spent several hours, made many notes and really got the ball rolling.
Monday p.m.
Hospital bed, walker, another wheelchair, port-a-potty, oxygen (tanks and non-portable) were all delivered and set up with the help of Chuck. New medicines were ordered and received. Bought new sheets and a baby monitor.

Monday late p.m., Tuesday early a.m.
Bob took the new medicine (morphine) and slept for 6 hours straight. In fact, I had to wake him up to give him his 9 a.m shot. This is really a good thing, he has not been sleeping for longer than 2 hours at a time because of the foot pain. No wake up = no pain!

Tuesday a.m.
Swarm of termites took up residence in my entry way. Actually swarming and taking up residence are opposites. They swarmed, Chuck and I sprayed Raid and vacuumed them up.

Tuesday p.m.
Nurse Kelly came, more questions, checked out Bob’s foot, re-bandaged it. Nurse Kelly will come on Tuesdays and Fridays for the time being. We are going to watch Bob’s new drugs very carefully, because right now he is in no pain, but he can’t focus his eyes, can’t complete a sentence and just wants to sleep. Five minutes after the nurse left, Bob wanted a cigarette so he took his walker to go outside on the front porch and fell. (see the above sentence about not focusing!) It is also reason #985 to quit smoking! I knew cars and boats were problems for him but walkers???? No major damage to Bob but I lost about 4 years!

A.M Doctor’s appointment
P.M. Hospice Social Worker (Toni)
P.M. Exterminators

A.M. Dentist - Sue
P.M. Hospice Chaplain (Howard)

P.M. Hospice Nurse Kelly

And people say retirement is boring, HA!

I hope you never have to use Hospice and my experience is only 2 days old, but I have to say they are efficient and quick. It appears to be a well run organization. Different departments actually communicate with one another and they do what they say.

I know this was long, sorry, but the blog is a good outlet for me too.

Take care,


How time flies. . .

Sunday, April 22nd, 2007

Well another week has come and gone so this is my “weekend update”.  Friday started off with Bob playing vampire.  He got 2 units of blood which takes a long time (4 hours).  He slept through most of it and I ran errands, walked some dogs at the shelter and visited our friends the Valles.  I really expected miracles from the transfusion and I haven’t gotten them.  Not a lot of energy but a little better than before and in longer stretches.

We had several great groups of company thruout the week and over the weekend, friends and relatives from far and wide.  I would like to thank everyone who visited, especially those who live on the other side of the state and are making or have made trips just to see us.  The visits really do make a difference in Bob’s attitude and general well being.  He seems to “perk up” and rise to the occasion whenever  there is someone besides me to talk to.  Maybe its me, could I be the drag? nah can’t be!  I also totally enjoy the company.  So I want you to come and visit as much as Bob does.

 The boy is not eating much at all and is really tired of me asking him what he wants to drink.  It has become quite the guessing game, you never  know what will work.  I bought some Hawaiian Punch popcicles and he ate 2 of them today.  I figure its sugar and water, can’t hurt. 

 This blog has been great.   Since I know everyone who comments, it never occured to me how comments are preceived by others.  I think cyber friendships are being formed.  For example, Sharon (in KC) really wants to meet Mary Beth, Sharon feels like she already knows her.  Mary Anne thinks Teri has the right idea and wants to be hooked up with her.  (Now in fairness, Mary Anne always likes anything to do with champagne).  It really doesn’t surprise me, because I know and love all of you and I wouldn’t have friends who were not good people.

Hospice should be set up tomorrow.  I was told it takes a couple of hours to evaluate everything.  Probably won’t be a fun day, but we believe its necessary and unfortuately timely.  I’ll post something when I know details.

That’s all from here.  Have a good week and stay safe.