Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

would be 35 years

Saturday, September 29th, 2007

Again I don’t know if any one is reading this blog, but today would be our 35th wedding anniversary. I’m having myself a “pity party”. I’ve drank too much wine and have read all the entries of Bob’s blog. So many people wrote so many wonderful notes, its hard to believe Bob has been gone for 5 months. I miss all the notes and all the kind thoughts. I miss Bob.

Today I got roses delivered with a note that says “Dad loves you and so do I, Love Kelly” I didn’t know that Bob had asked Kelly to send me roses on our anniversary. According to Kelly, he asked her to do it in March. I guess he knew he wouldn’t be here in September.

People ask how I’m doing and I say fine, but the truth is “not so much” Its so lonely, there is no one to talk to,(Max, the dog, does not understand). Its overwhelming and all consuming. All of you who have someone to share your life, do not take it for granted. Just imagine not having someone to say “good night” to or “good morning” or having someone touch you. Very simple things that mean so much. It may sound trite but, treasure each hug, each conversation however mundane.
I will eventually get over my pity party and move on. Its just going to take some time.

I promise the next entry will be happy. . . . hopefully announcing the birth of my granddaughter.


Miss Skippyhawk

Tuesday, July 10th, 2007

I don’t know if anyone still looks at this blog, but just in case you do. . . . Bob’s grandchild-to-be is a girl. Her name will be Charlotte Anne Stephenson and her anticipated birthday is on or around November 5, 2007. A lot is riding on Charlotte. Her birth will bring something positive into 2007 for a lot of people. Unfortunately she will probably come into this world without 2 grandparents. Bob we know is watching from above (hopefully) and Nancy is struggling to hang on. She is losing her fight with colon cancer. This little baby is truly loved and will have many angels watching over her.

Bob said he wanted to be reincarnated into Kelly and Ryan’s baby. I don’t know how this will work with a girl, but it should be interesting. I always figured the genetics itself will be enough of a challenge for Kelly without the extra added reincarnation thing.

I miss him everyday. I just want to talk to him and tell him what’s going on in our lives.


Sunday, April 29th, 2007

Bob’s funeral arrangements are as follows:

Visitation: Wednesday May 2, 2007, 4:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.
Stygar MidRivers Funeral Home
5987 Mid Rivers Mall Drive
St. Charles, MO 63304

Services: Thursday, May 3,2007, 11:30 a.m.
Stygar MidRivers Funeral Home

There will be no cemetery visit since Bob wished to be cremated. In lieu of flowers we are asking that donations be made to pancreatic cancer research at

After the service you are invited to attend a gathering at our house. Directions will be provided at the funeral home.

Thank you for your love and support during this time.


shuffle up and deal. .

Friday, April 27th, 2007

The time has come. Bob lost his fight today. He was with family and friends when he decided to call it a day. Kelly, Ryan, Will, his Mom, my brother Paul, Annette, Gerri and Fr. Tom were here with Bob and I. I would like to think he is looking down on us right now with a cigarette, beer and a deck of cards asking when the tournament begins.

It was so quick that I’m still not sure its real but when I wake in the morning and he’s not there I guess that’s when the reality will set in. Fr. Tom wanted to know about Bob so Ryan printed off all the wonderful comments on his blog. I truly think that his friends and relatives told the story so well. Thank you all so much.

He will be so missed. There is a song in the musical Wicked that says” because I knew you, I have been changed for good. You have left a hand print on my heart” that’s what I feel about Bob right now. Some how, in some way he has changed all of us.

Tomorrow Kelly and I start the process of saying good bye and we will let you know the details of the arrangements.

Love to you all,


Running out of time

Thursday, April 26th, 2007

Once again things are going much too fast. Last Sunday Bob was “helping” Ryan barbeque, Monday he was alert enough to sign all the hospice forms and Tuesday he contributed the the nurse’s questions. Wednesday was horrible. He was hallucinating, seeing things and talking to people that weren’t there and very agitated at times.

Some of his hallucinations made us laugh. He won $12 at poker, he was driving a race car with his nephew Andrew, telling our handyman in Texas how to put up ceiling fans and he was controlling airplanes. As the hospice social worker said (who was here through part of this) at least he is recalling good happy things. One statement he made really scared me. He said his grandparents are missing him. I guess I believe he was talking to them.

Today Bob has not been awake except for about 15 minutes. He is in no pain and is not agitated at all. Kelly and Ryan have been here since yesterday afternoon and reinforcements are coming tonight and tomorrow. Kelly and Ryan will be spending the weekend here. We are most likely down to days now.

I’m afraid that the next time you get a post it will be to say that Bob is playing poker with Hank and Len in the big casino in the sky.

I love all of you,